How Long Have I Been Working Here? Too Long

I'm dealing with three vendors right now, one of them was foreign. And even if i had itched to deal with the development process myself, oft at times, well, all of the times, i had to surpress the desire and as my manager had said, i've got to think the big picture instead of 'wasting time' with the details in the development processes. Well, i had to oblige, of course.

It was hard at first. It was like losing your favourite pet (not spouse, or loved one, mind you, just pet, significant enough, but not too significant). But after a while, i realized that all i need do is bug testing, arranging time for a technical and administration meeting, and making sure that all those guys working in technical details meet the agreed deadlines, which roughly takes about 40% of my working time. I could very much doing research about anything i wishes most of the time, and that's exactly what i'm doing right now, with one goal in mind, always look for opportunities.

Yesterday, i got asked by one of the vendor on the way home after the technical meeting (this was around eight, full four hours after the official working hours had ended) about how long have i been working here? I was silent for a while, counting the ye... months! MONTHS! I was shocked, and counting again to really made sure. But of course, i counted right, i just been working here for four months. Damn! I felt like i've been working here for far too long of time. It had seemed like i had lost the count of time, and had aging considerably since last July. Or maybe, after i was thinking about it for a while, i've been gone through so much in the span of four months that i was almost lose the track of time (those outing events, this seminar, that workshop, two weeks holiday last Idul Fitri, etc., etc.). Or, i had matured well enough in the last four months that finally i could leave the child in me far more secluded than ever (which of course, something i really don't want to happen, as i've pointed out in some of my post in this blog many months ago). I was better dressed, that's for sure.

All in all, i felt that four months had gone like forever, but it's not a short time as well, and yet, when i look back, i hadn't really made any significant contribution both to this company and to myself. Now, this is something i REALLY need to foresee. From last week. I had to really stop doing nothing and start making something. That private library (and private theater) of mine won't be building by itself.